Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
