he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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