I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
