Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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