I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
