Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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