my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We don't watch enough power rangers
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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