You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
