So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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