Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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