I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
