I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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