break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
