I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
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