I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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