is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
