i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
