You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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