Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
