using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
