is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
