I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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