It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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