Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
