Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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