all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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