I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
