I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
