He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
