sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
