Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
