So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize