I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
