I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
