I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Bring me that man meat
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
