Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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