Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
When did angry sex become our thing?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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