New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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