Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
