I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
