i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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