arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
