Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
