dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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