I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
