my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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