So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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