wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
