the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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