Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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