You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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