You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize