She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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