the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize