i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
