The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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