I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
