You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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