I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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