please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Shame - the story of my life.
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