Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
