its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The power of my boobs compel you
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize