If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
as a side note pls kill me
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
