I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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