The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
