no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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