you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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