I can't watch pbs sober anymore
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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