How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
