I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
