Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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