I wish i was in the wii world.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
