her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Barsexuality is the new black.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Im part way to drunk.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
