It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
