Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
