It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I think I am morally bankrupt
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
NoShamevember. You game?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
